Deep Enough to Dream

Deep Enough to Dream... I graduated from UVA back in 2001.  Six years have passed.  Dreams have come and gone and been dashed; some are on the forefront of my mind, others are waning like the moon as glimpses of its crescent flee from sight.

A friend of mine and I talk about dreams and goals from time to time.  Whether or not to pursue different jobs and careers, whether to work and travel abroad, whether or not pick up and move to the middle of nowhere for a fresh start.  Some of the ideas are fleeting, others are within fingers reach, and others are much like the vapors of man, gone without a trace in an instant.

So what are my goals?  What are my dreams?  Where am I heading?  I quote my brother’s Eulogy of Captain Joshua T. Byers from time to time, making mention of how Josh constantly kept his azimuth and pace count in check with the Word of God.  Am I doing this?  Is this my compass or am I living by my own means, my own thoughts, my will and not His?  Am I living in the past, thinking about things that have happened that didn’t compute?  I would idealistically think no as I’ve come to be forward thinking, pushing forward and conquering, pushing aside sedentary tendencies, working to keep my pace in check with His will and not my own.  Realistically though, I can say that I am a failure in this, constantly wandering off in a direction counter to where the azimuth would point me, sometimes sprinting, other times just strolling.

The question of course, do I enjoy the dream and essence of the goal, and working toward it, or do I want it in my hands, in my clutch, mission accomplished?  What is my motivation?

Far often than not, I would say that having the dream, the passion and rush to push forth toward it is far greater than actually experiencing it.  Having the rush of knowing that you’re working toward it, having the dream about what it could be like is far greater than what it could be.  Visions tend to always be more grandiose and extravagant than the final product.  Those dreams and goals that are so far reaching and idealistic are just that, ideals.  They are not meant to be conquered but rather lived up to and with excellence striven toward.  Those goals and dreams which are more easily attainable, as accomplished we find to be somewhat of a let down.  Furthermore, what’s my motivation?  What is it that pushes me toward these goals, is it my azimuth being in line with His will, or is it just me seeing something and feeling something and thinking how cool it would be to accomplish that feat or make that jump?

Should we give up our passions and lay them down as something that can never be attained? 

Never.  But should we continue to revolve our lives around them, missing the moments and interactions of the day and those around us, hopefully not.  I know right now I have several struggles regarding goals and dreams, all of which in some way revolve around me, the azimuth pointing North, and I seem to just be heading West.

Am I deep enough to dream though, and pursue these passions and goals?

I dream in brilliant colors I have never seen.  I chase after those colors, hoping to catch the light in my eyes and hold it there forever, clutching the passion, not my own, but His and running with it.

In Chris Rice’s song Deep Enough to Dream, there is one thing that he asks of us about our deep dreams…

“Do I ever have to wake up?”


One Life to Live… Continued

Divin' So a few thoughts digested from this weekend regarding this life that we live, what I’ve been learning the past month since the June 20th post…  I guess a lot of things have happened that have made me wonder quite often about what is worthwhile, what is worth chasing after and pursuing, and what I need to accept and move on.

I’ll probably be posting these thoughts over on a separate blog.  If you’d like access to it, feel free to post a comment and I’ll send a link for access.


Quote of the Day

So I’ve been using Windows Live Writer blog client software for my blog publishing.  I used to use good ole w.bloggar, but I found that the user interface was no longer being developed and functionality was only being pushed out on a semi-regular basis – you could say that the software development lifecycle had slowed to a crawl.  Besides I’m able to interface to my different blogs that I contribute that reside on different platforms (WordPress, Community Server, SharePoint).

So one of the nice modularization capabilities that Windows Live Writer brings to the table is the ability to have plugins that allow you to insert information into your blog post more easily.  One of which is the “Insert QuoteOTheDay” plugin which today made me smile and laugh at the same time due to the hyperbole of the quote.

Quote of the Day:
The enraged colonists were mad.
–CJ’s US History Work

Now playing – The Black Crowes – Struttin’ Blues (Shake Your Money Maker)

Java in my car…

So apparently Java is in quite a few places according to the latest Java setup installer.

Apparently it’s in the following places:

  • Mobile Phones
  • Desktop Computers
  • Blu-ray Disc players
  • Set Top Boxes
  • And even in my car

This of course leads me to the question of where would we find .net devices?  Do they exist?  Besides cell phones that are “smart phones” (when was the last time that a Java based phone was referred to as smart?)


The Black Crowes – She Talks To Angels (Shake Your Money Maker)

The Legacy of a Hero

Several times before I have posted something honoring Captain Joshua T. Byers, US Army.  Several of you have read the articles and been left wondering, what the fascination is.

Captain Byers… Josh, he was the likeness of a brother.  He was my brother’s best friend throughout West Point and the years thereafter.  For me, it seemed as though I had been replaced and was jealous at times, though looking back now, I would say that I was stupid to be jealous, but rather to be saddened that I did not get to know him all the better and to hear what made him tick.

Today is the fourth anniversary of the day on which Josh took his last breath.  Today is a tribute to a Hero, to a brother that no longer walks this earth.

I can only say that I shall continue to strive toward what I knew of him, checking my pace count and azimuth in accordance with the Word of God, being sure that I line up.

We miss you Josh.


Bleach – Tired Heart (Astronomy (The Legacy of a Hero))

Frustrations with Facebook

So with regard to Facebook, I have two things that frustrate me to no end right now…

1 – Notifications.  Why is it that I receive e-mail notifications sometimes fifteen days later?  Come on now Facebook, get your act together and beef up your SMTP relay with the outside world so as to handle the load as you continue to scale your system.

2 – Blog import.  Facebook apparently is supposed to go out and crawl blogs every few hours to pull the RSS feed, do a quick comparison of the last update timestamp and then pull the new items into the “Notes” section.  At first I had some minor issues as my blog was not RSS compliant and had errors (I blame this on the version of MovableType that I was running but however have since changed route and am using WordPress).  However, since then it has been working “sometimes.”  I’ve had something like five or six blog posts since the last time that it has pulled and posted the newest notes, what’s up with that?  The RSS feed is legitimate according to different online feed validators.  Again I see this as a scalability issue.

How do I get my joy back…

Watching the movie Pushing Tin, I realize, there’s emptiness in my heart, in my soul.  How do I let go, what have I done for me recently, how do I get that joy back rather than the doldrums of everyday-tivity.

As Billy Bob Thornton would say, “Jump in the river,”- why, so as to “cleanse yourself of your sins.”

What is my river?

I suppose this week will be a good one to figure that out…


Editors – The Weight Of The World (An End Has A Start)