Spiritual Disciplines I Lack

Last night was an interesting night, I must admit. I knew that I was going to get my car decorated sometime soon, but I guess last night I didn’t think that it was going to be mine. My first reaction seeing my car was, “Whoa that’s a good job.” Upon closer inspection though, seeing mini marshmallows all over the front windshield I started to have thoughts that I shouldn’t have let in. My eyes shifted from the thoughts of, “Whoa, people care enough to love me and know that I’ll take this in good nature,” to the ways of the world thinking, “Holy crap, someone’s going to pay.”

For the next few hours I drove around, not retaliating, not wanting to add to the mess of the pranks this week, but rather trying to figure out just who it was that had done this to my car. After talking with three people on the phone in the wee hours of the morning and offending one of them due to my brashness (which I still feel bad about) it hit me. I struggle with the unknown. I pride myself on knowing how things work and without having that inside sends my soul into a fit. I like to see the interactions, the catalysts, the sprockets, the gears. I like to have the inside slant, and this time I didn’t have it and it was bugging the heck out of me.

So, I got home and crashed into bed around 6 this morning after pushing out the final images of my dolled up car – all dressed up and no place to go comes to mind ;-). When I woke up this morning at noon, I really felt peace in my heart and smiled when I looked at one of the pictures of my car that I had printed off. The fact that someone went and took the effort to procure the goods, and then spent the time, it actually means a lot to me and makes me smile and get a warm fuzzy. I feel like I’ve passed through the rite of passage, though I did it somewhat awkwardly in my lashing out momentarily – again I apologize, put your feet in my shoes – wait bad idea, imagine you were wearing shoes like mine that were a few sizes smaller, you probably would have had a similar reaction.

So what does this show me? 1st that people do care about me – okay so maybe I’m just trying to build up my ego, but really, I want to thank those that did this – I LOVE YOU! 2nd, it shows me a couple of my character flaws – something to work on, again I thank you for bringing them to light. And 3rd, getting marshmallows on your shoes stinks because then if you stand in one place too long you become semi rooted where you’re at.

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